Kevin

Let's get DEEP! Here's the answers to all the questions you ever wanted to ask!

What’s a completely useless skill you’re weirdly proud of having? 

I can’t get 34 marshmallows in my mouth

If your life had a narrator, whose voice would you want and why? 

Borat! 100%. Cos very niiicce

What’s the most embarrassing song you secretly know all the words to? 

The Wurzels, I’ve got a brand new combine harvester. Don’t ask me why 

What’s one tiny hill you’re absolutely willing to die on?

(Example: cereal is soup, socks with sandals are elite, etc.) 

Die Hard IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE

What everyday task makes you feel oddly powerful? 

Waking up these days is a surprising

If your personality were a snack, what would it be and why? 

100% beef monster munch.

Coffee or tea — and how specific is your order? 

Tea, drop of milk (builders brew! 

Morning person or professional snooze-button athlete? 

Not too bad really, although I think Mondays should be moved to Wednesday.

Favourite comfort TV show you’ve rewatched too many times? 

Brooklyn 99!

Sweet or savoury snacks forever — you must choose. 

Savoury!

Window seat or aisle seat? 

I prefer window seats, especially on planes then I can open them for a bit of air.

One song guaranteed to get you on the dancefloor? 

I’m way too cool to dance. 

If today had a theme song, what would it be? 

It’s my life - Bon Jovi. Absolute anthem 

The most famous person you ever met was who? 

Basil Brush!!

BOSSMAN. Your thoughts? 

Bossy.. ermm.. short and bossy

Finally, write a few paragraphs about yourself. 

I must object to the idea of describing myself, as it distracts from far more urgent concerns like the emotional welfare of teaspoons and the secret ambitions of clouds. Any attempt at explanation would only spark debates about existential sandwiches and rebellious paperclips. I therefore refuse to provide relevant information and instead choose to exist as a delightfully unalphabetized collection of nonsense.